• Nandini Goel


We spend our lives longing for it, looking for it, and discussing about it. Its importance is felt more than it is plainly communicated. It's known as the best for its purity and virtue. It's love. Love is intriguing and complex. Heartfelt love, specifically, is an excellent secret we find hard to clarify.

Despite the fact that artists and musicians can place a considerable lot of our heartfelt contemplations into words, love is so mystifying that we need the assistance of science to clarify it. We need to know that why one falls in love and why some of them do not even last for long. All things considered, psychologists have a ton to say about how and why individuals fall in love.

I. Liking v/s Loving

Psychologist Zick Rubin recommended that romantic love is comprised of three components:

· Attachment: They are cared for and wish to be with the other person. Physical contact and approval are significant parts of attachment.

· Caring: Valuing the other individual's happiness and necessities as much as your own.

· Intimacy: Sharing private conversations, thoughts, sentiments, and desires with the other individual.

Rubin accepted that occasionally we experience a lot of appreciation and reverence for other people. We appreciate spending time with that person and wish to associate with him / her, however this doesn't really qualify as love. Rather Rubin alluded to this as liking.

Love, then again, is a lot further, more extraordinary, and incorporates an intense urge for physical closeness and contact. Individuals who are "in like" appreciate each other's conversation, while the individuals who are "love" care as much about the other individual's necessities as they do their own.

According to his research, Rubin recognized various qualities that differentiated various levels of heartfelt love. For instance, he found that people who rated high on the love scale invested significantly more time looking into one another's eyes when contrasted with the individuals who rated only on their likeability.

II. Compassionate v/s Passionate Love

As indicated by analyst Elaine Hatfield and her associates, there are two fundamental sorts of adoration:

· Compassionate love: Compassionate love is described by mutual respect, connection, attachment, affection and trust. Compassionate love normally develops out of sensations of mutual agreement and a common respect for each other.

· Passionate love: Passionate love is described by extraordinary and intense feelings, sexual fascination, anxiety, and affection.

When the exceptional feelings of passionate love are responded, individuals feel thrilled and satisfied. Unreciprocated love prompts sensations of wretchedness and despondency. Hatfield proposes that passionate love is transient, generally enduring in the range of 6 and 30 months.

III. The Color Model of Love

In his 1973 book The Colors of Love, psychologist John Lee contrasted styles of love with the color wheel. Similarly as there are three primary colors, Lee proposed that there are three primary styles of love. These three styles of love are:

· Eros: The term eros originates from the Greek word signifying "passionate" or "sensual." Lee recommended that this sort of adoration includes both physical and passionate energy.

· Ludos: Ludos comes from the Greek word meaning "game." This type of love is imagined as playful and fun, however not really genuine. The individuals who show this type of love are not prepared for responsibility and are careful about a lot closeness.

· Storge: Storge originates from the Greek expression meaning "natural affection." This type of love is frequently addressed by familial love among parents and children, siblings, and more distant family members. This sort of love can likewise create out of friendship where individuals who offer interests and responsibilities steadily foster warmth for each other.

Proceeding with the color wheel analogy, Lee proposed that as the primary colors can be consolidated to make complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be joined to make nine diverse secondary love styles. For instance, consolidating Eros and Ludos results in lunacy or obsessive love.

Lee's 6 Styles of Loving

There are three primary styles:

· Eros: Loving an ideal person

· Ludos: Love as a game

· Storge: Love as companionship

Three optional styles:

· Craziness (Eros + Ludos): Obsessive love

· Pragma (Ludos + Storge): Realistic and pragmatic love

· Agape (Eros + Storge): Selfless love

IV. Triangular Theory of Love

Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed a triangular theory recommending that there are three segments of love:

· Intimacy

· Passion

· Commitment

Various combinations of these three segments bring about different sorts of love. For instance, consolidating intimacy and commitment brings about compassionate love, while joining passion and intimacy prompts romantic love, and merging passion and commitment leads to fatuous love.

As indicated by Sternberg, relationships are based on at least two components than those dependent on a single component. Sternberg uses the term consummate love to portray combining intimacy, passion, and commitment. While this kind of love is the most grounded and generally enduring, Sternberg recommends that this sort of love is uncommon.

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